2022.01.29 10:15 karuvapatta Helping a friend with family trauma
I [27f] have another Indian friend [31f], she has been separated from her husband for a year. We are both in the UK, financially independent, living away from family, with good savings and steady jobs. She is currently depressed and I have run out of ways to help her.
She comes from an emotionally abusive family. They still continue to be horrible to her because they didn't approve of her inter-racial marriage and subsequent divorce. Yet she keeps going back to family events, is in WhatsApp group chats with them etc. The sad thing is that she's always upset because they post pictures of the family hanging out without her and post quotes of daughters disrespecting parents. Every time she visits them, she comes back crying.
I myself was in the same situation, and after a lot of therapy, I decided to become estranged from my family and have never been more happy and emotionally healthy. When I suggested the possibility of not attending family events (I did not suggest estrangement), she snapped at me, said I was extreme and that unlike me, she's too nice and wants to give people a second chance. She said all of this despite knowing that my estrangement was the result of sexual, physical and emotional abuse and a hundred chances. She apologised for this later, but now I do not comment/give advice when she comes to me for comfort after every interaction she has with her family.
The other thing is her dating life. She herself has admitted that she derives self-esteem from having a partner. Whenever we hang out, she is either ranting about her family or texting a potential date while I'm trying to talk. Many of our mutual friends no longer want to go out with her, since she only wants to hang out with us if a date cancels. They are especially angry because she never asks about us, and only tries to spend her time with us whenever a guy has rejected her, so we can comfort and reassure her. I'm one of the few friends she has left, and I've tried to stay neutral about this, but it's becoming very hard now.
We have suggested therapy several times. She has the means to access it, but doesn't want to. I understand that therapy isn't for everyone - both of us have had negative experiences with therapists before. The problem is that we don't talk or have a conversation anymore, it's always just her ranting and crying and me listening. I feel like a therapist more than a friend and it's draining me. I feel awful. I want to help and I'm all out of ideas.
Tl;dr: Friend has family trauma and unhealthy obsession with dating. Refuses therapy and instead rants to friends.
submitted by karuvapatta to TwoXIndia [link] [comments]
2022.01.29 10:15 richsmilesnft RICH SMILES NFT GIVEAWAY // JUST DROPPED! APPAREL SNEAK PEAK 02/2022 // Upvote, Follow on Twitter and Drop Address for a chance @ Winning Early Access to Discord and Free Season 2 NFT<3
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2022.01.29 10:15 intlnews 'The Assassination of Patrice Lumumba Is One of the Most Important Assassinations of the 20th Century'
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2022.01.29 10:15 Interesting_Ad_7640 What atrocities did Jessica's family commit?
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2022.01.29 10:15 youknowdem Can we get a sidebyside comparison of djoker and kyrgios celebrations please!!!
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2022.01.29 10:15 Youngggg420 Spoiler Alert for the Dark Side Of the Moon.
2022.01.29 10:15 ocolly Student presents first off-site exhibition in Student Union
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2022.01.29 10:15 ferminariza Asking for tips about tutoring an ISTP high school student
I tutor Econ to an ISTP 12-grader who has taken mostly natural science classes for three years. He said he's interested in business for uni and thought social sciences are easier, but that's not the case. He's a reclusive child from a well-off family, so he has a difficulty to see how people would react to economic phenomenons.
For example, I explained to him about demand elasticity (how people react to price changes). I asked him, how would you decide to buy clothes? Do you prefer to wait for a discount or not? He answered no. Then I poked him humorously that he would buy things when he needs to and he said kind of yes.
What I see as a problem is he has a naive idea about what to take to learn social sciences. Especially things related to business: you have to observe how people works, particularly about how they make economic decisions, their perception of trends and branding, their experience in customer services, etc.
I do realize that I can phrase things better to suit his cognitive functions (ie appeal to his inferior Fe). But I still want to get some insights from adult ISTPs. I'm aware that Econ is such a Te field, and I'm wondering if there are any better ways for his ISTP mind to understand (I'm an INFP, btw).
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2022.01.29 10:15 JollySwagman1 All Cawl did was throw a tennis ball at his face
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2022.01.29 10:15 floridawoman9783 Is it okay for the rice to turn darker like this? This is my first time doing BBT and these are inoculated with agar. The jars I inoculated with a syringe don’t look like this
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2022.01.29 10:15 Auburngirl1978 Seriously she’s talking bout getting pregnant again I bet she can’t get pregnant and probably knows it
2022.01.29 10:15 Jegca W: aae25/be25/qe25 railway H: fixers, railways, caps, plans, ammo, maps
2022.01.29 10:15 gamethread-scraper Wreddit's Daily Pro-Wrestling Discussion Thread! What's on your mind today? (Spoilers for all shows) - January 29, 2022 Edition (x-post /r/SquaredCircle)
2022.01.29 10:15 iSteppedInLego Spider Man PS4 On PC
I was wondering if it is possible to play spider man on pc. I already watched all the videos on youtube and none of them work. I have downloaded a ps4 emulator but i cant find the iso file for spider man. So if you know anything please tell me.
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2022.01.29 10:15 Ace_TD Lyler Week 2022 Day 06: AU (GalacticRedBeauty)
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2022.01.29 10:15 Chiselled_Steel Range issues
When the new hero was announced on the warriors den. They showed us the incredible range that she has ln her heavys and pistol grab. Now with this, you can't just roll her heavys because she still catches you with the heavy finisher or pistol grab. With doesn't make sense. While we have other characters like Jorm or PK where you can just backdash or backwalk their entire offense we have this girl with a sword barely longer than PK'S but she has incredible range. The range should be good on pirate but not that good. And no one should have his entire offense countered by backwalking or backdashing. What do you think?
submitted by Chiselled_Steel to CompetitiveForHonor [link] [comments]
2022.01.29 10:15 BlueEagleFly In Trump’s honor, Arizona Republicans approve conspiracy-based election bills
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2022.01.29 10:15 AutoModerator Daily Feedback Thread (January 29, 2022)
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2022.01.29 10:15 ComradeCommissary Leaders pay tribute to President Ho Chi Minh ahead of Tet
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2022.01.29 10:15 AutoModerator Arrumando minha cama
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2022.01.29 10:15 Shoulder-Either Ask Anything Thread